Challenge - Day 20

These past few days have almost been a blur. Being swamped at work is one thing but finding out that my mother has breast cancer is a whole other ball game. Chances are she'll never read this blog and if she does I hope she understands me addressing the situation.

I'm scared as hell. My mom is one of my closest friends and one of the only people I know who is always positive about each and every situation. My mom is simple to please and very easy to love. She might be in her 60's but she still sings and dances around the house like a teenager. I love that about my mom. I love so many things about her I can't even begin to explain how much I look up to her. Not many get the "news" from the doctor and hurry up and head back to work to finish up the day - that right there says so much about her character.

I think about her almost all day now...I hate the waiting for the procedure then the 2 weeks wait to see just how bad it is. I HATE cancer. My mom is a fighter and I plan on being right beside her so we can hopefully soon put it behind her and behind us.

I haven't blogged as I said I would because I've been doing a lot of thinking the past little while. I am trying to figure all this out, my mom, work and everything that is going on with me personally.

I don't want what I'm thinking or feeling to come out in a negative way but the fact of the matter is I've had a lot of crappy things happen to me and I just want to put them behind me so I can - as Ruby puts it - conquer this beast.

Being fat just isn't who I am inside - I know that is a crazy statement considering I've been fat almost my entire life literally. Inside me is an athlete standing at the starting line pumped full of adrenaline just waiting for that gun to go off to just start my life already.

The great thing about the past few weeks - I've kept up with focusing on feeding my mind full of positive information regarding health and fitness. I am in love with Jillian Michael's pod casts and her books. I love people who tell it like it is and Jillian is just that.

I've been very off track with counting calories and proper food choices - I'm not going to lie. I've been down because of the news about my mom and I reverted back to eating things I shouldn't for comfort. I'm realizing more that I just have to admit I have a love / hate or unhealthy relationship with food.

Part of me wants to attend an OEA meeting but I just don't think that's for me but we'll see. I am really starting to realize that over the years I've chosen my food because for the longest time that was really the only thing I could choose in my life without drama.

I am starting to learn how much I love my parents and my family but exactly how much of an unhealthy relationship we all have. If I was to ask my father to go to the track with me all I'd hear is excuses as to why he can't and yet if I was to ask him to grill a burger for me or run and grab the family ice creams he'd be right there and happy to do it.

My family over the years has associated food with love and I am learning now that it is slowly killing us all. One thing I've learned from Jillian's pod casts is that as much as I would love to build a new kind of love relationship with my parents I don't think they are going to change. They are who they are and they are set in their ways and I have to be okay with it.

I've decided that the best thing I can do is live the healthy life I really truly want to live and in turn set the best example I can for them. Perhaps in time  they will see how much my life changes in a positive way and they too will want to jump on the healthy train with me. Regardless of if they do or do not change I will still love them with all my heart.

I know this posting is more of a serious one but I think this is what I need right now. I think this is all part of the process of accepting who I am and what I need to really be successful at my journey.

On a lighter note, I met a good friend for dinner. She is one of those perfect, barbie types - blond hair,  tanned, perfect smile...yeah one of those girls. But really, what I love about her most is that she is always positive and ready to laugh and people are instantly drawn to her not only because she is attractive but she really is a great person to be around. We had lots to catch up on - some good and some more challenging stuff to share with each other. She is someone I trust and I know I can open up to.

I really had a moment of growth tonight. As we were sharing I told her I once read that if you want to be thinner and healthier, find thinner and healthier people to associate with and observe and inquire about their habits. Look to them as examples and or role models. So tonight I began to ask and I reached out to her and asked her if she would be able to dedicate one night a week where we could go for a walk together and she promptly said - SURE! why  had I waited all this time to ask her? I thought I was going to hear excuses as I am used to. Lisa Healthy habit #1 (many more to come I'm sure) - she isn't really full of excuses why not to workout.

Thanks Lisa, you made my night.

Challenge - Day 12

Challenge - Day 11

I committed to writing an entry each and every day and I plan to follow through with that commitment. 

Today was a really rough day especially for my mom. I pray this will all be behind her very soon.

Mom I love you with all my heart and I will be with you every step of the way.

Challenge - Day 10

Well that's me... "BEFORE"....

The "AFTER" me is looking forward to so many things such as:

1) Joining a volleyball league
2) Joining a softball team (co-ed of course) ;)
3) Join a Crossfit program
4) Learn to surf
5) Learn to snowboard
6) Try Tree Top Trekking and Ziplining

And most exciting of all......Drum roll please...
7) Join a roller derby league
8) Run a 5km to try it out
9) Complete a mini triathlon!!! :)

Today was day 2 of training at work and once again ran late. I didn't make it to the track but that just means tomorrow is a perfect opportunity to make up for it. I think I'm going to challenge myself to do 7km plus do my free weights.

Tomorrow...Biggest Loser Resort countdown and my next 4 month challenge after this 30 Day Challenge is complete.

Challenge - Day 9

A little late to post before pics but I thought I'd post a pic I love and of what I hope my "after" pic looks like!

I was at the track tonight thinking about how I am starting to feel better now that I am eating better and working out more. I worked a 12 hour day and all I could think about was getting to the track to do my 5km. To me that is progress and I am proud of myself for that. I am not here for a quick fix - this time I am in it for the long run.

The hard work is paying off - I'm down 5.5 in my first week which is great but I am hoping to get some much bigger numbers once my body is used to doing far more. I'm getting there and that's all that matters.

I think tomorrow, besides posting some before pics, I should also outline some of my goals over the next few months and over the next year....stay tuned!

Challenge - Day 8

I was back on track with a vengence today and I love it! Normally after a slight mess up over a weekend it would take me a week or two to get over it and get back on track. Not today.... not this time. I'm done starting and stopping. I had a great day and was around my 1200 calories plus I did 5km at the track which burned just over 500 calories so I am off to a great start this week.

I am grateful to my bff Kelly in California for her encouraging email and to my friend Jenni who went to the track with me. Its nice to know I have them around when I really need a bit of a pick me up.

I did a bit of reading up on the weekend on exactly what I'm in for when I head to the Biggest Loser Resort in September. Basically what I am in for is 1200 calories per day and 6-7 hours of exercise that consists of group hikes in the morning, exercising classes and aqua fit classes in addition to nutrition classes and other group discussions. I can't wait and I want to get the most out of my experience - I am hoping it will be a life changing week for me.

Tomorrow - Before pics! :)

Challenge Day 6 & 7 - Weekend

This weekend was far more of a challenge then I thought it would be. I had a really great week and I thought the weekend was going to be even better. It was a busy weekend filled with lots of family time and personal things to take care of.

The one thing I learned is that I need to find strength to go the path myself. When people make the choice to eat a certain way I need to find the strength to hold my ground with the proper choices for me. The other thing I really need to work on and find strength in is to workout alone. At the end of the day I really don't have anyone to truly share this experience with and I need to be okay with it. I know I have people who love me and want the best for me but they just can't be there for me the way I need them to be and the people who could are just too far to have a direct impact in my everyday life.

I've had a chance to reflect on this week and this weekend. I know I am on the right path because my weekend wasn't a write off as it could have been - if I did 90% okay and 10% not that is about 70% better than I would have done in the past. I didn't give up when I made a mistake I am just going to carry on.

Tomorrow is a new day and a start to Challenge - week 2! I have my plan in place and I am going to test myself this week and try and challenge myself to get a little uncomfortable especially when it comes to my workouts.

Until tomorrow.

Challenge - Day 5

This week has gone by so quickly! It has been a great start to the 30 Day Challenge and I continue to learn and grow each day. I am blessed knowing I have friends supporting me who are on the same journey to health as I am.

Looking forward to a busy weekend!

Challenge - Day 4

Tonight was a breakthrough for so many reasons and I am going to fall asleep with such a smile on my face because I am finally starting to get it and it feels good.

What do I get? Well I am okay with being a little selfish right now. I'm okay with putting myself first. I am okay with my successes.

I just arrived at the track parking lot and I got a txt from someone who wanted to talk for a min. I knew they had something they wanted to work out with me so of course I said I had a min but I would have to hurry. I was in the middle of the conversation when I realized what I was doing. I was putting someone elses' needs before my own and I knew that conversation was going to go nowhere - at least for tonight. I promptly ended the conversation and ran for the track because that is what I needed to be doing.

That may seem like a small thing to someone but that choice I made was profound. That was one success in my eyes.

I have to thank an ex for this next success - he actually has done fantastically in his journey to health and wellness. He made his mind up and he is doing fantastic. I am so proud to hear he is running mini marathons and just making great choices.

So he mentioned something to me about the pod casts he listens to. He mentioned it a while back but its always been in the back of my mind that I need to check that out. So I began sorting though which pod casts I'd be interested in and there are so many. One of my favs right now is the one with Jillian Michaels. She is an interesting character to say the least but she is a wealth of knowledge.

What I learned from her tonight - "To live in the pause" to think about what we put in our bodies before we put it in. So many people (I am the first to admit)...so many people celebrate success with food and then they regret what they've eaten. Here I was thinking at the end of this 30 day challenge if I can lose that 25 lbs this month I am going to eat my favorite sushi and lots of it probably. What Jillian said has really made me think twice. Going forward I want to celebrate my successes and my happy moments with things other than foods if I can help it because it just makes sense and it is the healthy thing to do.

I had a great day food wise and it is getting easier to prepare healthy meals. The LoseIt! app is really such a fun and handy tool.

My last and not so least final success - I got to the track and I was going to do 2km like I did the other night. 2km was done in no time and I said to myself I'm staying for 5km and I did it.

The success is not necessarily the length I walked but I realized that once I get going and get over the hump of getting started in the first 2km that after that it just gets better and my body starts to warm up and enjoy walking.

I'm thinking 10km is in the works for this weekend... :)

I hope my Challenge buddies and friends who are trying to get healthier had just of a great day as I did and if not I would like to send some of my joy out that tomorrow will be a better day for them.

Challenge - Day 3

I love knowing I am not alone in this. I love knowing I am part of a group who is thinking and feeling and working towards a common goal at this very moment. Sometimes you don't have the best support with tbe people closest to you but just knowing there are others doing the same 30 Day Challenge is keeping me modivated.

It was a long day and I didn't get home until late so I didn't get to the track tonight but I did keep on track all day with my food plan. I am using an app on my phone called loseit! and I'm finding it super helpful to track my calories.

Day 3 - over and out! :)

Challenge - Day 2



Day 2 was a success... I kept on track with my calories and I managed to get out to the track and do 2.5 km walk (better something than nothing!) and did weights when I got home. Life happens... I'm still not over my sinus infection... I had to get groceries after work and I didn't eat dinner till almost 8pm. I am completely exhausted but it feels great. I have the support of my dear friend Jenni and Holly my soul sister.

Short and sweet entry tonight.

The Official Day 1

What I did right....

I wrote everything down that I ate which actually made me think about my calories in and I was under my 1500 calories. I calculated as I went so I knew I what I had remaining for the rest of the day.
What I could improve on tomorrow...

Drink way more water! when I get busy at work I forget to drink so I'll have to make sure I make time for water as I work.

I had all intentions of going to Zumba or the track tonight... I was pumped. I didn't sleep well at all last night and I was up at 5:30. I was skyping with a friend and before I knew it, it was 7 pm and I hadn't had dinner yet. Am I hearing an excuse right now? Grrrrrr. This is life. I will be tired and I will have late dinners but I just have to put my workouts first and suck it up like the champ I know is inside me.

My friend Holly is on board and we are going to skype tomorrow and share ideas. I spoke with 2 friends today who are going to create their own inspiration boards which made me very happy.

Bedtime for me - early start tomorrow and lots to do.

I hope my fellow 30-Day Challenge friends had a great first day!

Challenge - Day 1

Well this is the start of my inspiration board!

30 DAY CHALLENGE - RUBY'S DAY 1 INSTRUCTIONS
* Get a notebook and record everything you eat, drink and all your workouts
* Drink lots of water 8-10 glasses- an extra glass for every 25 lbs overweight
* Find a plan that works for you and stick to it
* Turn that TV off
* Set a goal

Updates and Ruby's 30 Day Challenge

Once again it has been far too long since I’ve posted something. Well better late than never! So much has happened. I finally found a job I love working for a company I love and believe in and I feel like I mean something there. A while back when “The Secret – Laws of Attraction” was all the rage I had created an inspiration board. One of my inspirations was to work for a small – mid-size company where I made a good salary where I could move up and where I could make a difference and I found it.


I wouldn’t normally blog too much about work but I had to mention it because I am truly happy and I love my manager – Diane. You know those quirky, Britts you meet on vacation that you would just love to be friends with? That’s her… she works very hard but she also has such a fun side – not something I’ve had the pleasure of experiencing in a work place environment in a very very long time.

I’ll give you the most recent example – I’ve wanted to do paddle-boarding for a few years now but its not something I’ve taken up because of my weight. A groupon came through on my phone for a 90 min lesson for $39… I showed her the groupon and said – THAT is why I need to lose weight… I want to spend my spare time enjoying activities like that!!! No sooner did I mention it I was promptly told in a British accent of course – BOOK IT! So its booked.. I am going paddle-boarding for the first time Aug 25!! I’m sure that experience will be for an interesting blog!

I know I mentioned in one of my earlier blogs that I wish I could one day in some way be part of the Biggest Loser – to experience those crazy workouts and see just exactly what I’m made of. Well one more thing booked – I head to the Biggest Loser Resort in Malibu from September 2 – 9. That will truly be another dream come true.

I was thinking the other day about why and how could someone (me) spend their vacation time two years in a row travelling to fitness bootcamps to find that motivation that I need not be able to just lose the weight. Well I’m tired of excuses…I just don’t know why. Which is where I am now.

I don’t know why I am the way I am and why I haven’t been about to just figure this out but now is the time. I’ve decided to just become obsessed with health, fitness and a positive attitude. Not obsessed in a negative way but in a way where I only want to think about me and my needs for the next little while. This is the first time ever where I just want to have a love relationship with myself – as the saying goes – I want to let my light shine and in doing so I will help others let their light shine as well.

So back to Ruby… starting tomorrow – my friend Ruby has posted a 30 day challenge to all her FB friends and I’ve accepted. It could not have come at a better time because I would like to lose some weight and just get back to working out before I head to the Biggest Loser Ranch in September.

I’m going to take tonight to get organized and think of what type of goals do I want to set for myself over this next 30 days to begin this process.

My first goal is to write a short blog for every day of the challenge and post a picture or saying that kept me motivated during that day.

I finally have the fire and the desire back in my gut… I haven’t had this feeling in FOREVER…. It feels so good knowing success is around the corner!